


A Disgrace

by Emptynarration



Category: Youtube RPF, Youtube egos, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Acts of Kindness, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Angel Kink, Angel Wings, Anger, Apologies, Concern, Creation, Demons, Explanations, Fallen Angels, False Accusations, Flashbacks, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen, God Bill, God Mike, God author, Growing Apart, Help, Hierarchy, Illnesses, Insecurity, Jealousy, Kindness, Major Illness, Mistakes, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Kissing, Platonic Relationships, Regret, Sick Character, Split person, Weakness, Wings, Worry, angel darkiplier, angel enis, angel yandere, demon eric - Freeform, god bing, god host, god illinois, god yancy, implied romantic and/or sexual relationship, jealousy makes dark do stupid things, look into the past, same person different bodies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emptynarration/pseuds/Emptynarration
Summary: The angels accuse the god Author of being useless, and not caring about them.He's their creator, and he loves them all. He created them with the right to make their own judgements.If they decide to disgrace him, let him fall, he will let them.They come to realize what a mistake they made.
Relationships: The Author & Darkiplier, The Author & Dr Iplier, The Host & Eric Derekson
Comments: 21
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

Nearly everyone was gathered here. The hall was full of angels, their images reflected on the surface of the portal.  
Author was kneeling on the stone floor, his back to the portal, his toes hanging over the edge and just above the liquid. Around him where the four Angels of Order -Dark, Enis, Kink, and Adore. Dark had an angry scowl on his face, Enis and Kink seemed mostly neutral, while Adore seemed unhappy about their situation.

“Aiden, God of Life and Death, and our creator. We, angels and gods alike, have made our judgement upon your fate. For your carelessness, your indifference towards your children, and your frivolousness and uselessness, you will be disgraced.”, Dark spoke, his voice carrying loudly through the filled hall. No other angel dared speak, the gathered gods standing closest to them looking on with various expressions.  
The oldest, Bing, Illinois and Bill, seemed unhappy. They didn't agree with this decision, though they couldn't _really_ defend Author either. The youngest, Mike and Yancy, seemed to fully agree with Dark's words. Meanwhile Edward, right in the middle of their ages, was outraged.

“You can't do this!”, he exclaimed, glaring at Dark with nothing but contempt. “We _need_ Author! You can't disgrace _your creator!”_.  
Dark's wings flared, sending a slight gust of wind through everyone, near growling at Edward in turn. There were a few who shared Edward's sentiment, but no mere angel would dare speak against the Angels of Order. They had voted, and they had been in the minority.  
“We can, and _we will_.”, Dark snarled; only calming once Kink laid his hand onto his shoulder, redirecting his attention back to the matter at hand. It were Illinois and Bill who had to calm Edward -though nothing could quench his anger. This was _wrong_.

“Aiden.”, Dark said, looking down at Author with disdain. Mentioned god had merely listened quietly to them talk, head lowered and gaze on the ground. “Do you have any words for your defence?”.  
Author looked up, a sad smile on his lips, as he looked at Dark, and then Enis, Kink, and Adore, before his gaze swept over everyone gathered around them he could see from his position.  
“My children.”, he said, and while his voice was quiet, it was carried through the silence fallen over the hall -even Edward's anger simmered down to something heavier.  
“I'm truly sorry for my actions, my _inactions_. I love you, I love every single one of you, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to show that to you. I created you all with the means of making your own judgement, and if this is truly what you have decided is best, then I will not stop you.”.

A lot of the gathered angels felt... saddened by Author's words. Somewhere they knew, they knew he loved them. They knew he truly, genuinely wanted them to be happy, and safe. Some were doubting their decision of disgracing Author.  
Dark didn't let Author's words affect him. He's known him the longest, he was the oldest one here -he had been the  _first_ Author had created. He knew him better than anything. But he was hurt, and he was angry, and that clouded his judgement.  
“Dark, we can't function without him.”, Edward's voice was softer, anger reigned in and simmering just beneath the surface. There was no way they could take over the work Author did. He was the god of  _life and death_ . He was  _the creator_ . Even if he didn't know what exactly Author did, he  _knew_ they needed him.  
Dark ignored Edward's words. He shared a look with the other Angels of Order, before reaching out. His hands grasped Author's halo, a soft warmth enveloping his hands. 

The other Angels of Order did the same, albeit with different emotions. Even if Adore didn't want to, they had to all the same. The decision had been made, and even if not all had agreed on it, they all were needed for this.  
“Aiden, God of Life and Death, and our creator.”, Dark looked down at Author, feeling nothing. Even as the god looked at him, with such a mournful expression, Dark stood his ground. “We, the Angels of Order, have made our decision. May you rectify your wrongdoings in the future.”, the angels' grips tightened on the halo, Adore biting their lip -“I'm sorry”, Author's quiet words went unheard- “You are disgraced.”.

The halo shattered beneath their hands, a shock went through Author -eyes widening, wings flaring- before he lost consciousness.  
A shock went through the gathered angels, as Author collapsed  _forwards_ , away from the portal, while  _at the same time_ he -or a copy of him?- collapsed  _backwards_ , disrupting the once unmoving surface of the portal.  
Looking after the figure falling down to the Realm of Humans, their fall was accompanied by the many feathers of their three pairs of wings, as it should. No one could make out what the figure looked like, through the feathers and clouds.  
And Author laid unconscious, collapsed to his side, laying in a bed of feathers. His wings laid limp, and it was painfully obvious how wrong they were. They had been huge, six wings taking up a lot of space. But now, they looked ruffled,  _ripped_ , not even half their original size.  
And his halo... it was only half of the ring, though even this half was shattered, broken pieces weakly shining.

“ _Look at what you've done!”_ , Edward's anger was back full-force, though there was also a strong wave of concern and worry washing over him. He rushed forward immediately, dropping to his knees next to the unconscious Author, wings flaring slightly to keep others away.  
He gently grabbed Author, pulling him into his arms. He was still alive, though Edward couldn't help but worry -not only because he was the God of Health, but also because he _cared_. He held him against his chest, slowly standing. While he was more than worried about the god in his arms, he couldn't help the immense anger he felt either.  
“Are you _happy now?”_ , he growled, glaring at Dark with nothing but _hatred_. The angel had the audacity to not look any sort of remorseful, though he didn't seem very happy either.  
Edward scoffed, holding Author close, and stalked off. The angels parted for Edward, as the god determinedly and urgently took large strides to leave the hall.

Adore looked after Edward, watching him disappear into the hallways. Sparing a quick glance towards Dark, Enis, and Kink, they decided to quickly hurry after Edward. Bing, Illinois and Bill were soon following after Adore, ignoring everyone else.  
Many angels looked lost, wings shuffling, feathers ruffling, angels fidgeting. Dark stood with his back straight, clasping his hands behind his back. He wouldn't say it, but his hands burned slightly. There was no trace of whoever or whatever had fallen down into the Realm of Humans left in the mirror-like surface of the portal.  
Without a word, Dark took his leave as well. His job here was done, and there was no point in dwelling on it. What had happened wasn't normal in the slightest, but that _hopefully_ wouldn't be a problem...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE MY AU SO MUCH AND I DONT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK THAT NO ONE ELSE DOES


	2. Chapter 2

They had sorely underestimated what Author all had done for them, what amount of work he actually had. Dark got the brunt if it, since he was the main reason as to why they had disgraced Author in the first place. Though Edward was also having quite some troubles, since he was basically in charge of the humans.  
There was a lot of work that Dark, and many others, had taken for granted. Maybe they hadn't realized it was _Author_ doing all of these little things though.

Dark, as Caretaker of the Dead and Souls, had a lot of work to do. Every person dying had to be sorted where they were going after their death. He had “files” for every dead and dying person, to read up on their life and such, to make his decision.   
He had to make sure the Realm of the Dead was in order, that everyone there was behaving, that everything went smoothly.   
Normally, each new soul was already sorted -Dark merely made sure that the right decision had been made. Typically, he didn't need to change anything, merely confirming it was the right decision. And it had been Author who'd done the pre-sorting. It had been Author who made sure Dark had the correct files for currently dying people, because he knew which of them would survive and which wouldn't.

He knew why Author always looked so tired when he saw him. So much was going  _ wrong _ without him.

“ _Dark, there's a lot of humans dying in this region, and we don't know what to do!”  
“Dark, far too many people are getting pregnant here, too many births, and no one seems to die! Everyone is doing too well!”  
“Dark, everyone here is sick, and Mike can't do anything! People are dying left and right and it's too much!”_

He had to hide away from them all for a moment, fleeing to his room and closing the door behind himself. He needed a break. He was so  _ tired _ . He collapsed tiredly onto his bed, draping an arm over his eyes.  
He realized his mistakes. He  _ recognized _ them. He  _ acknowledged _ them. He's never wanted to, but now he had done the seemingly irreversible, and everything was now biting him in the ass.  
Why had he done this? Why hadn't he stopped? Author had  _ apologized _ as  _ Dark _ disgraced him. Author really didn't put any blame whatsoever on him, didn't he? It made him feel even worse, somehow. Author still loved him. After everything he's done, he still loved him.

Dark could remember the time when he had just been made. He had been  _ the first _ . The first other being Author had made. They had been  _ so close _ . It had only been the two of them, and they had done everything together. Always with each other, always talking, always checking in on the other.  
And then, Author had made the first angels. Dark had immediately noticed the difference between himself and those angels -they only had  _ two _ wings. Dark had  _ four _ . Their halos, while the same size as Dark's, floated  _ above _ their heads, instead of behind it.  
_ “You look different, because you are. You're the oldest. You're the wisest. You're the most important person next to me. You hold more power than they do. You'll look after them, you'll teach them and guide them.” _ , Author had said, when he had asked him.  _ “They'll look up to you, Damien.” _ .  
It had made him feel  _ good _ . Author trusted him  _ so much _ , that he put him in charge to take care of these angels. But Author also looked after them, especially when they needed more helping hands. There was less time for the two of them to be together.

The worst was, when Author made the first god. Dark, for the first time, had felt  _ jealousy _ .  
Why had Author made a  _ god? _ Someone... someone more important than Dark? Why hadn't he made  _ Dark _ a god?  
He couldn't help the jealous feeling from settling heavy and ugly in his chest. How could there be someone even more important than Dark? Someone who was on par with Author. Dark was jealous, but... he knew they needed that god. He'd be fine.  
Problem was, that he  _ wasn't _ fine. Author was more and more distracted, having less and less time for Dark, and it was dragging him down. He didn't even recognize when Author  _ tried _ to spend time with him, when he spoke with him, when he wanted to be close.  
He had brushed him off. He had focused so much on his bad feelings and jealousy, that he had completely ignored how Author  _ tried _ to give him just what he craved. And eventually, Author backed off -recognizing that Dark apparently didn't want him around any more.

Dark had been such a  _ fool _ . How could he have pushed Author away, when the god - _ his friend _ \- had tried to reach out to him? He buried his hands in his hair, making a soft frustrated sound. It was all his fault. That all of this happened, that Author was suffering  _ because of him _ .  
He's heard of the state he was in. Author was near constantly passed out, but sometimes... he woke up. He was awake, but barely coherent. Mumbling and rambling, to weak to really move.  
Dark hadn't dared go anywhere near Author's room. He was... he didn't want to say it, but he was  _ scared _ . He was scared of what had happened to Author. Because  _ he _ was responsible for it.

There was a soft knocking coming from the door, making Dark sigh. He knew he couldn't hide from everyone forever, he had to go back to them  _ some time _ . He pushed himself up, taking a deep breath and tugging on his clothes, he made his way to the door, hesitating a moment when he laid his hand on the handle, before pulling it open.  
“Aiden-?”, he couldn't help the startled word, when he saw Author standing there -and nearly collapsing, though luckily Dark easily caught him. The god looked so  _ weak _ . He was shaking as if he were freezing, his skin had a sickly pallor, and he looked barely able to stand.   
He clung to Dark's chest, breathing heavily, eyes barely forced open. Dark kept holding onto Author for support.  
“Damien- I'm so sorry- so- so sorry- I- Damien-”, Author's voice was soft,  _ weak _ , rambling and falling over the words he was trying to say, “Damien- please- I love you Damien- please I'm- sorry so sorry please- let me- sorry Damien I- let me help- please I'm sorry-...”.

Author's words got quieter the further he spoke, until it was nothing but incoherent mumblings against Dark's chest. The angel's worry increased the more Author sagged against him, the weaker he seemed to get.  
He gently picked Author up, the god readily leaning his head against Dark's shoulder. The angel closed the door, carrying Author over to the bed, sitting down together with him.  
This sight wasn't strange, them sitting on Dark's bed, with Author in the angel's lap. But Author was nearly limp in Dark's arms, the angel holding him tightly against himself, feeling horrible. He knew what he's done was wrong. And still, here Author was. Still apologizing to  _ him _ .

“No, Aiden.”, Dark murmured, gently but protectively holding the weak god against himself, gently cradling his head with a hand, holding him close. “ _ I'm _ sorry. I shouldn't have disgraced you. I'm sorry I did this to you.”.  
Author's hold on Dark's chest was weak, but there. He smiled softly still though, his eyes having fallen closed. Dark kept his gaze on the god's face, because seeing the broken half of the halo, or Author's ripped and ruffled wings, would bring much more pain for Dark than he already felt.  
“I love you.”, Author said softly, so quietly, and Dark would forever deny he teared up. He held Author close, hiding his face in Author's hair, breathing shaky. He knew Author was losing consciousness again, his heavy breaths evening out slowly, his grip on Dark's chest loosening.  
“I love you too.”, Dark's words were quiet, mere whispers, as he clutched Author close to himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyyyyyyyy  
> some more past explanation? maybe?  
> some aftermath of whats up with auth?  
> nice


	3. A look into the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything used to be so much better, back then

Aiden was alone. It was how it always had been, of course, but he's created so many things already. Outside of his Realm, he's created another. A little portal, like a little lake, that he could look through and go through, to this new Realm he's created.  
He had made a whole world. He had made earth and water. He had made life. And he wanted to share his creations with someone, to show someone how wonderful this all was.

He carefully plucked a feather from each of his wings. They would be the base of his new creation, of a being that would be made in his image. Someone to share his creations with. He would grant this being a long life, the ability to grow and learn, and the ability to make their own judgements.  
He enjoyed this. Making life. Creating something, creating _someone_ , new. It was a wondrous process. He poured his all into it, forming the being in his own image, while making them also different.  
When he was done, the new being knelt before him, their two pairs of wings folded on their back, and their eyes closed. They had the same skin like him, but their hair was a different colour. They had four instead of six wings, and their halo was smaller.

“I am Aiden, the God of Life and Death, and The Creator. You are Damien.”, he spoke, his voice soft and gentle, but holding the power he had. “Open your eyes.”.  
The angel he's just created opened his dark coloured eyes, for the first time seeing. And Aiden smiled, because he wasn't alone anymore, and finally had someone to share everything he made with. He reached out, his hands gently laying on Damien's cheek.  
“Greetings.”, he said softly, smiling. And Damien smiled back, leaning slightly into his hand, looking at Aiden with such a gentle gaze. “I am Aiden. I will teach you all you need to know, I'll keep you safe and happy. And you will be my company.”.  
“Thank you, Aiden.”, Damien replied, voice gentle and expression excited. 

Aiden stood, offering a hand to Damien, who gratefully took it. Holding the angel's hand, Aiden began to walk with him. He showed Damien around the little grass and stone plateau, the size of their Realm seemingly small, as the edges fell off into white cloudy nothingness.  
He showed him the tiny pool, its surface a perfect reflection of the sky above. He told him how it was a portal, a way to connect his realm to another. Together they sat at its edge, and Aiden showed him how to show the realm he wanted to see, showed him the world he's created, telling him with all the love and passion he held about every little thing.  
And Damien listened, so attentively and interested, asking about whatever he wanted to ask about. And Aiden shared, he shared every little piece of knowledge he had with the angel.

They talked and formed ideas together. Aiden wanted to create more life, just like Damien, but to live in this realm he had created away from his own. Together with Damien, Aiden created the first humans. Together, they watched them, how they learned how to exist, how they evolved, how more humans slowly started to spread.  
It was something Aiden assisted in, creating more life for them, creating more beings,  _animals_ . It was wondrous, and he enjoyed every thing he did. Damien aided him, helping him decide on what to do, what to create.  
Together, they decided to create another Realm. As of now, they had their own Realm -The Creator's Realm-, and the Realm of Humans. But, the humans lived, grew old, and eventually death claimed them. Their souls needed a place to rest. Aiden created the Realm of the Dead, and Damien was the one Aiden put in charge of it. Together, they took care of the living, and now also of the dead.

But, over time, the humans spread more and more, and soon, Aiden felt it was too much for merely him and Dark to handle. Aiden made a choice, settling in his spot on the plateau -surrounded by flowers and trees- and plucked feathers from each of his wings. He created more beings, in the image of himself and Damien, but lesser than them both. With a single pair of wings, and their small halo circling above their head, instead of behind like his own, or Damien's.  
When Damien first saw them both, Aiden could tell he was conflicted. They had been alone all this time, only the two of them, so having more around would be strange. Aiden hadn't really expected his friend to come to him, asking about their different appearance though.  
“Aiden?”, Damien asked softly, slowly settling next to the god. He was always welcome to sit with Aiden, in his little spot of nature.  
“Yes, Damien?”, Aiden replied, smiling kindly as he looked at his friend.  
“These new angels you've created. Why are they not like me?”, he asked, looking curiously and a little nervously. Aiden smiled at him, gently reaching out to take his hands in his, thumbs gently running over Damien's hands.  
“They look different, because they are different from you. You're the oldest. You're the wisest. You're the most important person next to me. You hold more power than they do. You'll look after them, you'll teach them and guide them.”, Aiden explained, smiling softly as he did. Damien listened, nodding along lightly.  
“I will make you proud, Aiden, and carry this honour proudly.”, Damien replied, smiling. Aiden was happy that Damien understood, and would help him.

It was easier, with the help of a few angels now helping them. Damien taught them how to care of the Realm of the Dead, and Aiden taught them how to care for the Realm of Humans. But Aiden noticed how the humans prayed. He listened to every of their prayer, wanting to help his children like he did with his angels. But there was so much, and he couldn't do everything on his own.  
Making a bold decision, he created the first god. It was Robert, the God of Nature. The angels received him warmly, but Aiden saw Damien's expression. He could tell something wasn't right, but he didn't know what. Maybe he should've spoken with him first -they had done everything together, when it had just been the two of them. Had they fallen apart this much already?  
“Damien?”, Aiden left Robert with the other angels, as the new god was spoken to, to join Damien by his side. He gently cupped the angel's cheek with his hand, laying the other on his waist. “Tell me, what troubles you?”.

Damien stayed silent, looking away from Aiden. He took a deep breath, sighing, and looked up at Aiden. The god's expression was worried, as he always was about his children.  
“Is it Robert?”, Aiden asked softly, gently rubbing his thumb over Damien's cheek. He wanted to offer comfort, to help make his friend feel safe and well. “I'm sorry I didn't speak to you first. But a god for nature will do us well. It will lighten my burden.”.  
“I know. I hope he will do well.”, Damien replied softly, smiling hesitantly. Aiden smiled back, and gently pressed a kiss to Damien's lips.  
“You will always be the most important, Damien. If not for the other angels, then for me.”, he said softly, and it eased Damien's worries slightly. He'd always be important to Aiden, and that was all that mattered. All that  _should_ matter, at the very least. He would be alright.

It seemed to be easier for Aiden, now that they had Robert -though he liked to go as Robbie. But there were... problems. The God of Nature seemed to dislike the humans, and he manipulated nature into creating disasters, killing the humans who couldn't save themselves from these natural forces.  
Aiden was distraught. He had given Robbie too much free reign, and in turn, his children suffered. He couldn't let this continue. Damien noticed the pain his god was in, and as the oldest and wisest angel, he made the decision Aiden couldn't.  
They couldn't kill a god. They  _wouldn't_ . Aiden would never have such. But they could strip the god of his power and influence, and make certain he would never hurt the humans like this ever again.

The angels and Dark took ahold of the god, making him kneel in front of the portal to the Realm of Humans. Aiden let them, watching, quiet. He knew what they would do, and he knew that was the only way that they would keep the humans safe.  
“Robert, God of Nature. We, the angels, have made our judgement upon your fate. For your hatred towards humans, for your disregard of what our creator wishes and uncaring of his love for us all, you will be disgraced.”, Damien spoke loud and clear, looking down at the kneeling god. He had the gall to look  _afraid_ of his fate.  
“Robert. Do you have any words for your defence?”, the question wouldn't be met with an answer satisfactory for any of the gathered. No one shared the sentiment of hating humans, no one took any of Robbie's words. Damien took ahold of the god's halo, feeling its twisted warmth beneath his palm.  
“Robert, God of Nature. You are disgraced.”, Damien spoke firmly. The halo shattered beneath his hand, as a shock went through Robbie. His wings flared behind him, and he collapsed -falling backwards into the lake, swallowed by the liquid. Looking after him, his fall from grace was accompanied by the many feathers his wings shed.

“I'm sorry.”, Aiden said quietly, and Damien was quick to be at his god's side. He gently enveloped the grieving god, letting Aiden lean into his embrace.  
“You've made no mistakes, Aiden. We had thought he would ease your burden, but he has only given you more.”, Damien murmured softly, gently carding his fingers through the god's hair. It helped him relax, nodding lightly against Damien.  
“Thank you, Damien. I will pay heed to not repeat my mistakes.”, Aiden spoke quietly, leaning back to smile softly at his angel. He was glad he had Damien. He knew he would need to create another god again, but next time, he would make certain to first talk with Dark. He would not repeat his mistakes.

When he created Benjamin, the God of Nature and Plants, he made certain that he carried the same love for creations as Aiden held. He would never force any of his children to love all that he made, but he would make certain that they would know compassion and empathy, that they would understand how Aiden loved every single one of his creations.  
Damien was still hurt, that he was not a god, that he didn't have the same importance as one of them had, but he would continue to do what he was meant to do. He would be there for Aiden, and he would be there for the angels, and he would be there for the souls.  
Even when Aiden made another angel just like Damien. When he created Enis, and announced Damien and Enis as “The Angels of Order”. As Caretakers for something special.  
Damien, the Caretaker of the Dead and Souls, and Enis, the Caretaker of Safety and Protection. They would make certain that everyone would be alright, and would befall judgement onto angels and gods alike.  
Aiden trusted them more than anyone else, and they would not betray that trust. And while Damien knew he was loved, that Aiden cared about him more than anyone else, he couldn't help but feel like the god had grown distant.

There was always so much to do. Aiden changed how their Realm looked like, accommodating to the many beings now here, taking inspiration by what his humans had created. He took care of them all, he took care of the angels and gods, he took care of the humans.  
There was a lot of work for him to be done, and he had less and less time for himself. He was tired, and as much as he just wanted to relax, there wasn't a lot he could do against it. He had to work, after all.  
But he wanted to spend time with Damien. He wanted to be with him, he wanted to relax and be with his best friend again. But every time he tried to get close to Damien again, the angel avoided him, brushed him off. Aiden wasn't sure what was wrong, but if Damien didn't want to speak to him, then he couldn't change it.  
It saddened him. But if Damien wanted him to stay away, then he would. No matter how much it hurt him.


	4. Chapter 4

Edward had never witnessed a disgracing before. Even Bing, the oldest of the gods after Author, had only ever witnessed _one_ god being disgraced before. Illinois had actually witnessed the same disgracing. Bill, however, had only ever witnessed an angel being disgraced. Ever since Edward, there never had been a disgracing happening. And if one happened before Bing, only Dark would know about it.  
From what the gods could tell, though, was, that Author's disgracing had definitely gone wrong. A disgraced angel normally fell completely out of The Creator's Realm, their halo breaking and losing their wings completely.  
Bing, as well as Illinois, recalled that a disgraced _god_ kept _one_ pair of wings, thus only losing two of their original three pairs. But there hadn't been... they had _always_ completely fallen out of the realm, god or angel. No one had ever collapsed _forward_. And there had _definitely_ never been an instant of something or someone _falling_ , while the god or angel _didn't_. 

That Author's halo was only  _half_ of a broken ring, was wrong. That Author's six wings were  _ripped off_ to half their size was wrong. That Author was still in the realm was wrong. That something  _or someone_ had fallen instead of him was wrong.  
They figured it must've been him, but also not. Whoever or whatever had fallen, had had wings to shed feathers from, and must have the other half of Author's broken halo. There simply was no other explanation for it.  
Adore, being the only Angel of Order who liked Author, was the one who suggested they should look for whoever had fallen. They were  _certain_ it must be a some _one_ , and that they would be connected to Author in some way.  
The gods agreed, if only because they had no better lead than Adore's. But, none of the gods, and Adore neither, had the time to go look personally. With Author out of commission, they had a lot more work to do, a lot of problems on their hands they had to handle.

Plus, Bing, Illinois, and Bill, couldn't just go and look for their supposed fallen themselves. They rarely -if not never- left The Creator's Realm, opting to do their job from here instead of risking going to The Realm of Humans. And Adore was merely too busy, always had been.  
And Edward, he got the most load. With humanity's lifes and deaths becoming unbalanced, there were a lot of problems and troubles he had to deal with now, many many more prayers than before -many things he  _shouldn't_ be responsible for, but now had to be, due to Author being unable to.  
So they had to send angels to go and search The Realm of Humans. They had to rely on them, and even they couldn't just drop everything and do that. Everyone had their own responsibilities, even if some had more than others.

Edward had known Dark's decision had been wrong. While he may never had known what all Author did, he had known something different: Author had always been tired. He always had dark rings beneath his eyes, and he rested a lot only because he did a lot, a lot that left him very, very, tired.  
He could see it in Dark now too. The most problems had arrived with the dead, and Dark was the one in charge of them -right after Author. And so Edward could see how tired Dark was getting, how he had to rest for longer but less often. It wasn't good, and Edward could tell what a toll it had on the angel.  
But it had been his own fault. He had been the one who had the  _idea_ of disgracing Author, and he was the one who had decided not to accept Author's apology when it was given, and disgrace him anyway.

But Edward was a compassionate person. While he felt it right that Dark suffer a little for what he brought upon Author, he also knew he didn't deserve all of this. Neither had Author -neither of the two deserved any of this.   
When Edward went to briefly check up on Author -as he tended to do, every once in a while, especially to give Author some company when he was conscious- and he didn't find the god in his own room, where he  _should_ have been, he immediately hurried to Dark's room. It was the only place Edward could think of, without any of the other angels noticing the weak god walking around.  
He knocked gently when he arrived, waiting a silent moment, before carefully pushing open the door. He quietly stepped inside, relaxing when he spotted the two figures on the bed. Author was asleep, as he mostly was, though seemed more at peace than usually. Dark laid with him, curled protectively around the god, resting for once himself.

Edward knew they had been close. He knew how bad Author felt, for not making Dark feel as loved as he was. He had listened to the god ramble often enough during his conscious moments to know. It had been logical, that Author would eventually attempt to get to Dark, and apologize in person, like he had wanted to.  
Edward was glad he had managed, and that all seemed well. He was certain Dark was regretting his actions, and he was certain that, if -no,  _when_ \- they managed to help Author, the two of them would grow closer together again. He just hoped that Author didn't have to suffer through this for too much longer.  
He left the two of them to rest then, knowing Dark would bring Author back to his own room once awake again, before he'd have to deal with reality again. Hopefully some rest, and having had talked with Author (presumably), would help Dark a little bit.

“We don't even know who we're searching for! It's impossible to find someone you've never seen or heard of.”, Adore sighed, their arms crossed as they sat on their plush armchair. They had gathered in their room, if only because they had enough comfortable furniture to sit on for them all.  
“Well, duh. It's gotta be someone looking like Author!”, Bing said, looking pointedly at Adore. “It only makes sense, dude!”.  
“At the very least it must be someone with half of a broken halo.”, Illinois agreed, leaning against a wall, with his arms lightly crossed. “That's a pretty telling thing. And disgraced gods can't hide those, far as I know.”.  
“And either they'll have one pair of wings, or they'll be like Author. Six wings, but ripped in half.”, Edward pointed out.   
“And- I'm guessing they'd look like Author?”, Bill suggested, fiddling with his fingers slightly.   
“If it's just some... part? Of Author, then that's likely. Maybe like a twin.”, Illinois hummed, nodding in agreement. 

“I suppose it's better than nothing...”, Adore sighed. They didn't really have much to go on -barely _anything_ , really- but at the very least they had some _ideas_.  
“How are we going to find them though?”, Edward questioned, sighing heavily. He had his head buried in his hands, clearly tired. They would all need to get back to work soon -especially him. They could only meet for so long.  
“The couple angels we already have searching may have it easier with this?”, Bill said, though he sounded as unsure about it as he looked.  
“There's nothing else we _could_ do. We're stuck working man!”, Bing replied, huffing in exasperation. There really wasn't anything they could do, since they all had to stay in this realm. Every one of them _wanted_ to go look for themselves, but it merely wasn't feasible.  
“Maybe Dark has an idea.”, Edward muttered, making everyone look at him.   
“You can't be serious!”, Adore exclaimed, looking shocked at Edward. “He was the one who did this in the first place!”.  
“And? He's the oldest from _all_ of us. And he regrets what he's done. You _know_ how Author felt.”, Edward looked up at them, glaring at them slightly. 

“I'll ask him. I need to get back to work anyways.”, he huffed, pushing himself up to stand. He ignored the others' protests, and simply left. Hopefully he'd see Dark before he arrived at the portal. It was unlikely, he was aware, but still. He'd go look for Dark first before going to work anyways, if only so they could _maybe_ figure something out.  
Luckily enough, he found Dark while he was on the way to the portal to the Realm of the Dead, looking just as tired as Edward. He did notice the god walking towards him though, so he paused in his walk to wait for Edward.  
“Edward.”, he greeted, shifting to clasp his hands behind his back. As tired as he was, he still managed to look proper.  
“Damien.”, Edward replied, managing a slight smile for the other.  
“To what do I owe the pleasure?”.  
“We're stuck on what to do for Aiden. I thought maybe you'd have an idea, how to find whoever fell for him.”.

Dark hummed, nodding lightly. He was glad Edward considered asking him -he could tell the others didn't share the sentiment, considering it was Edward himself who came here, and he said that  _he_ had thought Dark may have an idea.  
“They'll be in the Realm of Humans. It's likely that either the humans have found them, or that maybe demons have.”, Dark said, as the two of them walked together. Edward didn't look too thrilled about it, but nodded lightly.  
“You suppose demons have found them. Since I would've noticed if humans had.”, he said, sighing heavily. None of them were in charge of  _demons_ . They were in charge of themselves.  
“It's rather likely. I don't think they'd hurt them though. Aiden is their creator just like he's our. If we could find one, they might be able to help.”.  
Edward sighed again, listening to Dark. It made sense, he recognized that, but... he didn't think it'd be easy to find one. Most angels -nearly  _all_ _ , really- thought badly of demons. There weren't many who'd even consider  _ _speaking_ to one, yet alone ask one for  _help_ .

“I'll be trying to help too.”, Dark said softly, after a moment of silent walking. Edward smiled lightly at him, patting his shoulder gently.  
“Thank you, Dark. I know you're just as busy, if not more, than us.”, he said, making Dark chuckle lightly.   
“And I care just as much as you do.”, he replied quietly. Edward smiled gently, nodding, though staying quiet. Hopefully, they would find something or someone who could help them find whoever they were looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp they be at least trying!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedictated to SCUBACatwoman cus they be the biggest fan of this ;3;

Eric had just been taking a walk. He liked the silence of the forest, the serene calm the trees gave, the sound of nature around him. It was nice, and he didn't have to worry about humans, and souls, or anything else.  
He wasn't really looking where he was going, enjoying himself. Humans didn't really come here, and he could typically feel a human's soul when it was nearby. Which meant he didn't try to hide his unnatural features. The horns growing out from the sides of his head, the black sclera of his eyes, and the yellow irises. His sharp teeth and forked tongue, his clawed hands. His tail, and the pair of wings resting on his back.  
It was freeing, to walk around without having to hide himself. Granted, it was evening as well, which meant that there was even less of a chance for humans to show up. But as he walked, Eric felt... a  _different_ sort of presence. Furrowing his brows, he could tell what he was feeling wasn't human. But it also wasn't like anything he's felt before.  
It was sort of like an angel, he supposed? He  _had_ felt an angel's presence before. But this was different- he just couldn't tell exactly  _how_ . So, curiousity piqued, he decided to follow this slight  _pull_ he was feeling to its source.

When he finally saw the source of this feeling, Eric gasped, immediately running towards the collapsed being on the ground. Surrounded in a bed of feathers, laid someone who looked just like Aiden -but different. Eric had seen their creator before -he had, because he'd been personally created by the god. And this- this looked like him, while also slightly different.  
He quickly took in the broken half of a halo -why was it only  _half_ of the halo?- and the three pairs of wings -where they  _ripped in half?_ \- before falling to his knees next to him. He could see the god breathing, but he seemed unconscious.  
Carefully and as gently as possible, Eric pulled the god close and picked him up. He had no idea what might have happened -well he had  _some_ idea, but it seemed unlikely.

He's heard of fallen ones before. There actually was a fallen god in the midst of demons! With a broken halo, and only one pair of wings. They had told about their fall, at one point or another. Eric didn't fully remember, but he knew, that this was wrong.  
Maybe because this was their creator. One couldn't let the  _creator fall_ . That must be the reason that he looked so wrong. But why would his appearance change? Or did Aiden really just look like this now? No matter what, Eric had to make certain the god was safe and out of range for humans to just find him.  
He carefully stood, carrying the god in his arms, careful not to hurt his wings. They hung limp, some more stray feathers falling from their ruffled state.

When the god woke, he was laying on soft moss. He weakly pushed himself up, feeling incredibly weak and tired. He blinked his eyes open, heavily leaning back against the stone wall behind him.  
“You're awake!”, a voice called out, startling him. He looked around, eyes adjusting to the darkness. Up to him walked a demon, and a spark of familiarity made him feel safe around him.  
“How are you feeling? I'm- I'm Eric, I found you.”, Eric asked, hovering worriedly around the god, obviously afraid to touch him, while clearly wanting to help.  
“I'm... I'm tired.”, the god murmured, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand. “Feel weak..”.  
“Okay. Do you remember what happened?”, Eric fiddled with his hands, having them squirming together, wringing them.  
“I...”, the god thought, and shook his head lightly. “I don't. I know I'm... I'm Harley. God of Death and Life.”, Harley said, looking up at Eric now.

“Harley?”, Eric questioned, confused. The God of Death and Life? But... He knew  _Aiden_ was the God of  _Life_ and Death. Who was  _Harley?_   
“Yes... Harley.”, Harley nodded lightly. He was absolutely certain of that, he was certain he knew who he was.  
“I... Do you know- anyone named  _Aiden?”_ , Eric decided to ask. He knew the god would never just.. change his name. A nickname, yes, but not his normal name!  
“I... I don't think so. I can't... I can't remember anything? Not.. a lot.”, Harley mumbled. He knew who he was. He knew what his powers were -should be.  
“Okay. Okay- okay!”, Eric nodded to himself. “Well- I can. Tell you what I know -or think I know. Okay?”, Eric smiled softly, trying to be reassuring. Harley appreciated the gesture, smiling lightly back at the demon.  
“Okay.”.

“So- uhm. You're a god. Six wings, big halo behind your head. That's god stuff. But. But you're- uhm. Well. Fallen. Disgraced. Which means that your halo's broken, your wings are, uhm. Well  _yours_ are unusable and- broken? Normally a disgraced god is just supposed to lose four of their six wings. I don't... know what happened to yours.”, Eric began explaining, sitting down next to Harley as he explained. The god nodded along quietly, listening intently.  
“Being disgraced though, uhm. Means you can't go back. To where the other gods and angels are.  _They_ can bring you back, but, uhm. That's.. never happened before.”, Eric mumbled. Quite obviously a little sad about it. Why, Harley wasn't sure. Maybe he didn't think that Harley would be helped.  
“And- well. Aiden.. Aiden is the God of Life and Death, and our Creator.”, Eric said, making Harley look confused. Another god like him? With the same purpose? That was impossible!

“I- I have no idea what happened. Something...”, Eric was lost. He had no idea what had happened, why Harley existed when it should be Aiden. “I... I guess Aiden got disgraced? And... and that is you now? Or- or made you? I have no idea..”.  
Harley hummed lightly, leaning back against the stones, letting his eyes rest closed. He didn't really remember anything of what Eric had told him, though he was glad for the knowledge. He was a disgraced god, but something had gone wrong. Maybe that explained his missing memory as well.  
“Thank you, Eric.”, Harley said softly, looking over at Eric with half-lidded eyes. He was tired, though he wondered if that was how it always would be. Maybe just another side-effect.  
“Of-of course! Glad I could help.”, Eric smiled lightly, fiddling with his fingers. He didn't know what was wrong with Harley, or why this was how it was, but he was glad that he had been able to help him.

“We're in a cave right now. Uhm. In a forest. It should be safe from humans...”, Eric said then, motioning around a little, standing up again. “No one knows we're here. So, uhm. You can stay here. I won't tell anyone.”.  
“Thank you.”, Harley replied, smiling lightly. It was good to know that he was safe here, and could stay. He liked Eric -he was rather kind, though he wouldn't have assumed anything anyways, no matter that Eric was a demon or not.  
“I'll, uhm. Leave you be?”, Eric looked a little uncertain, wringing his hands together. Harley hummed softly, looking at Eric with such a gentle smile.  
“Feel free to always come back here. I enjoy your company.”, Harley told him, making Eric relax slightly. No matter what had happened, this was still their creator, and Eric knew that the god loved all of his creations. It was... it was nice.  
“Thanks! I- uhm. I will! Thank you. I'll come by sometime.”, Eric smiled, nodding, happy he was welcomed back so easily. It was really nice.

Eric took his leave then, hoping Harley would be alright. He couldn't imagine how it must be like. The fallen god among the demons had been with them for a long time, and held no malice towards the other gods and angels. They understood why they were fallen, and they accepted it.  
They told of another god that had fallen before them, sometimes. That god hadn't been so understanding -the opposite of it, really. That god _hated_ the other gods and angels, just how he had hated humans. He wasn't welcomed with the demons either though -most believed the fallen god was dead, now, but no one knew for certain.  
Eric hoped Harley wouldn't have such a bad fate. He was -or maybe at least he was a  _part_ of- their creator. He couldn't have such a bad fate himself. He just couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any suggestions on what to write next? tell me!  
> cus i dunno myself


	6. Chapter 6

Harley was careful when he went to explore. He couldn't hide his wings, or his halo, so he had to be careful not to get spotted by someone accidentally. But he liked going through the forest, seeing where the humans tended to go, and where nature was left untouched.  
At night, he dared explore closer to the edge of the forest. He found some villages around near to the forest, but nothing close enough they would spot him if he stayed behind the treeline.  
Mostly though, Harley stayed in his cave. The spot of moss was a little ways in, but due to his halo's gentle glow, he had no troubles getting around. It wasn't the most comfortable place to be, but it was alright. 

It did make him faintly miss what he didn't remember. He remembered _feelings_. He remembered the softness, the comfort, the warmth. He missed his home among the gods and angels, even though he didn't _really_ remember it.  
He spend a lot of his time wondering _why_ he didn't remember. What had happened to him, to _Aiden_. Who was Aiden? Who was the God of Life and Death? He wondered, and he wanted to know. He didn't think it likely to ever remember, though. To ever get answers to his questions.  
He felt nothing but love and sadness towards these people he didn't remember. He loved all of his creations, everything he saw and everyone he spotted. He couldn't feel anything but love for them. And when he thought of the other gods, of the angels, he felt a deep sadness settle within him.  
What had he done to make them disgrace him? How hadn't they seen how much he loved them, how much he cared? It made him incredibly sad, and he hoped that, if he should ever see any gods or angels again, that he could show them how much he loved them. 

He sighed, curling up a bit tighter. While sitting on the moss wasn't uncomfortable, he couldn't help the cold that seeped into him. He was lonely, he knew that. He was lonely, which left him _cold_. Being so far away from his children, it left a deep cold in his heart.  
When he felt a presence nearby, he shifted, looking up from his curled up state. Who was coming here? He carefully unfurled, standing up. Someone was coming here, he could feel it. A human? 

He slowly made his way towards the entrance of the cave. There was a young man, breathing heavily, sweating profusely, leaning against the cold stone wall. He was clearly sick, and it worried Harley immediately.  
“My child.”, he said softly, and the man looked up at him. He looked tired, and barely able to focus. Harley walked towards him, gently cupping the man's face in his hands.  
“Please...”, his voice was weak, and it made Harley's heart break. He must've felt the god's presence, being drawn to it in his sick state. Desperate for help.  
“I can't promise you, my dear, but I will try.”, Harley murmured softly. He gently ran his fingers over the man's eyes, making him close them. He could try and heal him. He was the Creator, he could do whatever he liked. Though he was disgraced, he knew that. 

Harley took a deep breath, and focused. Heal this man's sickness, and grant him a long and good life. He hoped it'd work. There wasn't anything else he wanted, really, but to help this man. He didn't know if he could, he had no idea if his powers were still there, still right.  
Opening his eyes lightly -not even having noticed they had fallen closed- he gently pressed a kiss to the man's forehead. A couple of seconds passed, before the man collapsed -and Harley caught him in his arms, gently holding him. He could feel the rise and fall of his chest, so he knew he was alive.  
Smiling lightly, Harley carried the man to the bed of moss. He'd wait for him to wake first. Watching silently over him, noting how he seemed to have it easier to breathe now, only slight tremors from the cold going through him. 

The man was healed, and Harley felt good. He was slightly worried, that more humans would be drawn to him, and that his powers may not always heal what was wrong. He simply had to hope for the best.  
More time brought more humans to him, all sick, or with a sick family member. All asking for help. He always wanted to, he didn't like seeing his children suffer like they were. But he was always scared. And he always warned them.  
_"I may not be able to help. I may heal you, or you may perish."_  
And yet, near everyone had already chosen their choice before they had been told. Either they would die from their sickness, or they would die by Harley's hand. And while Harley couldn't bear the thought of being the cause of his children's death, he understood. They chose the option that could potentially save them, and if it wouldn't, they would die knowing they had tried, and being peaceful in their last moments. 

Not everyone survived, of course. Even though Harley tried, even though Harley only ever wanted to _heal_ , and not to _kill_. Sometimes, the person he tried to heal, died in his arms. And he carried them back to towards the village they had come from, and he gave them back to their family. And if they had none left, he buried them himself, making certain they could a proper burial like they deserved.  
Even though it never hurt any less. Every person who died in his arms, it hurt just the same. It always hurt. Harley loved them all, and he only wished the best for his children. He merely wasn't able to give that to them every time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short n sweet  
> just some more harley  
> what's he up to and stuff
> 
> i still dont know what more to write hhhhhhhhhhh  
>  ~~maybe i should write some porn cus thats what i d o~~

**Author's Note:**

> _Comment if you enjoyed this please!!!_


End file.
